Hungöveretten

February 24, 2013

Hi guys, it's time for my favorite kind of post: hungover. Currently self-medicating said hangover with a giant cup of coffee and chocolate cake because I like to reward bad decisions with delicious cake. There's something a little beautiful about hangovers. I'm so enveloped in feeling sorry for myself that I forget I'm a tourist in a strange Deutsche-land. I'm just a human lookin' for that cake. Cake cake cake cake. I was quoting poet-laureate Rihanna at the end there.

I'm still in Berlin! I've seen a lot of museums. So. Many. Museums. I'm tapping out. I've gotten so spoiled and sometimes I buy a ticket and speed walk through the joint. It's happened a couple times. I'm not terribly proud of this fact. But it is what it is.

I went to a 19th centuryish art museum, a 20th centuryish art museum, a DDR museum (East Berlin), an "alternative Berlin" tour, Bauhaus archive, and the abandoned airport Tempelhof.

Bauhaus was cool. I finally learned its pronounced "bow-house" so I can stop embarrassing myself. Unrelated: Lime in the Coconut just started playing in this cafe. I bought a poster! I buy nothing ever, so that it significant.

The DDR museum was really well done. It was largely about daily life in East Berlin. Here's a photo, idk man..

Who is this Party informant snooping around my East berlin flat?!

Tiny naked people! East Berlin didn't have enough swimsuits so everybody went naked. And then 25 years later someone felt compelled to make a diorama about it.

Tempelhof was so cold. I imagine it would be wonderful in the summer. They had BBQ spots. In the winter though, woof. The wind just impaling you from those flat empty runways. Like trekking Siberia. I took a photo of myself so I could remember what I looked like before my nose fell off from hypothermia. Isn't it nice to know I'm still so dramatic even when it's just me?

I also have successfully undertaken the bahns, as I affectionately refer to them. U-Bahn and S-Bahn. Berlin public transit. Apparently ticket inspectors check sometimes, but I have yet to see one of these fellows. I keep buying tickets though because I'm terrified of getting yelled at in German.

I've also been pretending to be German as much as possible. To accomplish this, I just say "Hallo" and then nod when people talk at me. I also maintain a bored face and hide my panicked confusion. It's been working out for me. It got me a fork at Starbucks, interestingly.

Other things with me. I've been watching a lot of vice videos. I think I will send them a letter re: giving me a job. These guys went to North Korea! Makes me feel like a lame little baby for not jumping head first into some weird underground Berlin club with like those pierced people hanging from a ceiling and an animal sacrifice. That's probably happening somewhere in Berlin, right? Who knows. But I like wifi and chocolate cake and art museums.

Now I will take a train to Frankfurtty and get a hotel by the airport and hang around. So close to being home! Are you coming to my birthday? Come to my birthday!

Berlinagain

February 20, 2013

Hey-o! I'm back in Berlin. I think I may have left Munich a bit prematurely because after I got to Berlin, I realized I actually know THREE people in Munich! Whoops, I screwed up! I'm happy to be back in Berlin though.I totally did have another super weird night train dream again. I dreamt that I was watching a Beyoncé WWE pay-per-view fight. And I kept asking who she was fighting and everyone would just say "haha um Not Beyoncé."

Yesterday I was planning to go the Bauhaus Archives and that was a 32-Double D BUST. Short version so as not to dwell: spent an hour getting there, museum closed on Tuesdays. Bad job, Liz.

Last night was great though! I went to a "Living History" talk that my hostel out on with a man from West Berlin that occasionally did work in East Berlin. When I was last in Berlin, I met with a man from East Berlin. It was really interesting to hear stories and perspectives from both sides of the wall. It really blows my mind how recent that history is. When I was a wee babe, the wall was still up! I was pooping my pants in Texas and Berlin was divided! Bananas.

Did you know there were two subway lines that ran from West Berlin, underneath East Berlin, and back to West? The train would just slow down in the East stations, but never stop. The East Stations were guarded with machine guns. Once a train lost power IN East Berlin, and they refused to let anyone off or even have contact with the West Berlin passengers. I can't imagine, but I'm really fascinated by the whole thing.

Okay, here are my Berlin goals: Bauhaus Archives, Topography of Terror, Museum Island museums, now-closed Tempelhof Airport. If I do not do these things, you should yell at me.

Gold Beers Cold Beers

February 18, 2013

After wandering around Munich and spending a half hour smelling all the celebrity perfumes in Sephora, I went to Haufbräuhaus! I had a beer and pretzel for lunch, which I felt was nice and Bavarian. An oompa band was playing!

Then I went to the Residenz, the home to the electors/dukes/kings of Bavaria (they kept getting upgraded). I recommend it! I was in a "eh, this will kill some time" mind frame, but it was very interesting! Really expansive and they give you a free audio guide. Very opulent and fancy-schmancy.

They also had a chapel for all their relics. Relics, dude, relics. They say they have the head of John the Baptist, but the Catholic Church says that's in Italy, so I'm not really clear how that counts.

Love the Lana del Rey headpiece, John the B

Why isn't science all over relics? Shouldn't Bones be out here telling us what's what? Is that happening and I just don't subscribe to the right periodicals?

And on that note of old saint body parts, I gotta go find some dinner! Icky.

Guten Tag!

February 17, 2013

Yo Munich! Yesterday I went on a walking tour that was quite nice. Munich's name comes from monks! There used to be a bunch of monasteries here and people would just say "Oh I'm from that place with the monks." I also saw my first ever real monk in Zagreb! Brown robes, rope belt, whole thing.

After the tour I did a wee bit of shopping (got a birthday dress oh yeaaaahh), grocery shopping, and laundry.

Today is Sunday, as you may know. So everything was closed. Everything except museums! I did FOUR museums today. On Sunday admission is only one euro and all the museums I wanted to go to are in a little block. Good day good day. Alte Pinakothek, Neue Pinakothek, Museum Brandhorst, and Pinakothek der Moderne.

Side story to tell you about this German woman. I was just checking my map and she offered to help me. She was probably like 70 and had so many lady whiskers! Basically a full beard, but all white. And big fat tears were just coming out of her eyes whenever she blinked and she didn't seem to notice or care. I think I'm going to make up some German folklore about her. She was nice though.

Ok, so that German lady told me "Pinakothek" is basically Greek for "place to keep important things." Take that as you will. It was four different art museums for various time periods. I really enjoyed myself.

Tomorrow I'll do some more Munich stuff then I'm heading BACK TO BERLIN. Crazy, right? I really liked Berlin and my hostel there though. I think there's still a lot for me to see there and it's slightly cheaper than Munich. Another night train by the way, so lets see if I have another vision quest.

Munchin' in München

February 16, 2013

Greetings from Munich! Home to Oktoberfest, Hitler, Hofbräuhaus, Olympic tragedies and who knows! I'll have to find out!More importantly though, I took my first night train. I can only speak of my one experience, but whoa, night train dreams are like some vision quest stuff. A bunch of my friends were all having an elaborate tea party on the train station platform and we kept arguing about which train to get on. Poetic?

It wasn't bad except this German guy slept like a log the first 2 hours (when we still had to go through border patrol every couple of minutes) and then kept getting up every hour during sleepy times! Duuuuuuuude. He and his wife were okay though. I, however, was a sloppy mess. Shirt kept riding up, blankets twisted all over the place, belly hanging out. Not cute.

I suspect it's related to traveling alone, but a lot of my thoughts are occupied with "what if." For example, last night it was "what if I just took my pants off in this sleeping car?" Would anyone say anything? Would they ask me to put some pants on? Would no one care? Would the conductor/ticket man say something? Too gauche? Their English wasn't great, so I wonder how it would translate. I did keep my pants on, for the record.

Now it is 7am and I will go eat some hostel breakfast, explore Munich, and come back to check into my room. That's how my day's shaping up.

Oh I did have a very Bridget Jones moment in Zagreb. I'd been walking in the snow all day and my little head was saying "wine wine wine wine." I went to open my Hungarian wine, but the cork kept breaking so I started stabbing it furiously with a knife. I think I'm the only one who didn't see this next bit coming. I pushed the cork in too forcefully and wine went all over my face and shirt and hair. I legitimately had to go wash my face. Anyway, I smelled like an alcoholic for the day but that didn't stop me from enjoying my wine with the accompaniment of deli slices and popcorn. C'est magnifique.

Update: I've hit a wall. Big wall. It's now 9:19 am and I'm killing time till the free walking tour at 10:30. Dying. So sleepy. I wish I could be cute and say I've hit a BERLIN wall, but I'm in Munich so screw it.

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